no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
