Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
