it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
