i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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