benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize