my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
