i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
