John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
