My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
