Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
