I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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