I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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