He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
