Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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