Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
