I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
