when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
