so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
