cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
