I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
