She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
