But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
