I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
