You don't have asthma, your pregnant
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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