The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
