One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
