I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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