For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
There's even glitter on my cock...
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