Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
