I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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