the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
