yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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