Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You've changed since you got that strap on
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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