I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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