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I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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