I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The feeling are messing with the penis
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
