Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
