everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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