Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
