I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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