how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
there is another microwave in the elevator.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
