I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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