We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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