I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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