Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
