you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I pour the whiskey from now on
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
