Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
