But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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