Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
