She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
