Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
